{"id":667683,"date":"2025-12-22T20:16:04","date_gmt":"2025-12-22T20:16:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/?p=667683"},"modified":"2025-12-22T20:16:04","modified_gmt":"2025-12-22T20:16:04","slug":"cum-poti-evita-eul-de-craciun-si-orice-tip-de-certuri-in-familie-de-sarbatori-sfatul-psihologului","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/?p=667683","title":{"rendered":"Cum po\u021bi evita \u201eeul de Cr\u0103ciun\u201d \u0219i orice tip de certuri \u00een familie de s\u0103rb\u0103tori. Sfatul psihologului"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u00cen jurul momentului \u00een care apare a doua mahmureal\u0103, apar \u0219i certurile. Poate c\u00e2inele trebuie neap\u0103rat scos la plimbare, dar afar\u0103 plou\u0103, sau tava de la curcan \u00eenc\u0103 trebuie sp\u0103lat\u0103, iar filmul tradi\u021bional cu James Bond de Cr\u0103ciun<\/a> nu mai este suficient pentru a \u00eempiedica pe toat\u0103 lumea s\u0103 se simt\u0103 s\u0103tul\u0103, iritat\u0103 \u0219i gata s\u0103 izbucneasc\u0103 la cea mai mic\u0103 provocare, scrie The Telegraph<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u201eCr\u0103ciunurile petrecute \u00een familie pot fi uneori \u00eenconjurate de dezam\u0103gire\u201d, spune psihologul rela\u021bional Susan Quilliam. \u201eExist\u0103 presiunea ideii c\u0103 \u00abar trebui s\u0103 \u00eei iubesc pe ace\u0219ti oameni\u00bb, dar nu suntem obi\u0219nui\u021bi s\u0103 st\u0103m cu ei perioade at\u00e2t de lungi. \u00cen plus, exist\u0103 mitul c\u0103 rostul familiei este acela c\u0103 po\u021bi \u00abfi tu \u00eensu\u021bi\u00bb, \u00eens\u0103 acest lucru poate fi o sabie cu dou\u0103 t\u0103i\u0219uri. Nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 neap\u0103rat c\u0103 tu \u0219i rudele tale v\u0103 ve\u021bi \u00een\u021belege.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fiecare avem un \u201eeu de Cr\u0103ciun\u201d<\/h2>\n

Potrivit lui Quilliam, fondatoarea podcastului The Torn Project, care analizeaz\u0103 conflictele interioare, fiecare dintre noi are un \u201eeu de Cr\u0103ciun\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201ePentru unii oameni, \u00abeul de Cr\u0103ciun\u00bb \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 devin\u0103 din nou copii\u201d, spune ea. \u201eAl\u021bii pot reveni la tipare de familie, repet\u00e2nd comportamente care apar de fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd sunte\u021bi to\u021bi \u00eempreun\u0103. De exemplu, sora mai mare poate deveni autoritar\u0103, iar copilul cel mic poate considera c\u0103 cea mai bun\u0103 solu\u021bie pentru a face fa\u021b\u0103 conflictelor este s\u0103 se retrag\u0103 \u00een camer\u0103.\u201d<\/p>\n

Toate certurile, spune Quilliam, sunt amplificate de stres \u0219i alcool. Iar de Cr\u0103ciun exist\u0103 din plin ambele, la care se adaug\u0103 senza\u021bia de claustrofobie dintr-o camer\u0103 supra\u00eenc\u0103lzit\u0103, \u00een timp ce afar\u0103 este frig \u0219i posomor\u00e2t.<\/p>\n

\u201eCercet\u0103torii au observat c\u0103 \u0219obolanii \u021binu\u021bi \u00eentr-o cu\u0219c\u0103 \u00eencep, la un moment dat, s\u0103 se m\u0103n\u00e2nce \u00eentre ei\u201d, spune ea, cu o not\u0103 sumbr\u0103. \u201eDup\u0103 cinci zile, nu mai r\u0103m\u00e2n mul\u021bi.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 sesiunea de Pictionary \u00een familie ajunge s\u0103 semene cu \u201e\u00cemp\u0103ratul mu\u0219telor\u201d, ar fi bine s\u0103 \u021bii cont de sfaturile unui expert despre cum s\u0103 detensionezi conflictele.<\/p>\n

Discu\u021bia politic\u0103 devine tensionat\u0103<\/h2>\n

Sylvie este mereu \u00eencordat\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd familia ei, cu mai multe genera\u021bii, se adun\u0103 la masa de Cr\u0103ciun, mai ales dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva pahare de Advocaat.<\/p>\n

\u201e\u0218tiu sigur c\u0103, la un moment dat, politica va ap\u0103rea \u00een discu\u021bie \u0219i nu se va termina bine\u201d, spune ea. \u201eFie c\u0103 este vorba despre Orientul Mijlociu sau despre politicile de gen, masa se \u00eemparte pe linii genera\u021bionale previzibile, iar oamenii \u00eencep s\u0103 se numeasc\u0103 unii pe al\u021bii \u00abwoke\u00bb sau \u00abbigoti\u00bb. Singura sc\u0103pare r\u0103m\u00e2ne sp\u0103latul vaselor.\u201d<\/p>\n

Exist\u0103 un motiv foarte bun pentru vechiul cli\u0219eu conform c\u0103ruia nu ar trebui s\u0103 discu\u021bi politic\u0103 sau religie.<\/p>\n

\u201eChiar \u0219i \u00een cele mai bune condi\u021bii, aceste conversa\u021bii devin polarizate \u0219i aprinse\u201d, spune Quilliam. \u201eIar de Cr\u0103ciun, totul este amplificat.\u201d<\/p>\n

Trucul, spune ea, este s\u0103 observi \u0219i s\u0103 opre\u0219ti conflictul din timp.<\/p>\n

\u201eTrateaz\u0103 situa\u021bia cu lejeritate. Pute\u021bi conveni dinainte asupra unui \u00abcuv\u00e2nt-cod\u00bb, precum \u00abUrm\u0103torul!\u00bb, pe care cineva s\u0103 \u00eel spun\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd lucrurile par s\u0103 se \u00eencing\u0103.\u201d De exemplu, c\u00e2nd un membru mai t\u00e2n\u0103r aduce vorba despre cum a votat unchiul la Brexit: \u201eUrm\u0103torul!\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201eSau\u201d, adaug\u0103 Quilliam, \u201epo\u021bi spune pur \u0219i simplu: discut\u0103m asta alt\u0103dat\u0103, dar nu la masa de Cr\u0103ciun.\u201d<\/p>\n

Conversa\u021bia se transform\u0103 \u00eentr-o competi\u021bie de laude<\/h2>\n

Fie c\u0103 cineva se laud\u0103 cu un contract de milioane sau cu o vacan\u021b\u0103 \u00een Maldive, este u\u0219or ca exhibi\u021bionismul s\u0103 acapareze \u00eentreaga conversa\u021bie.<\/p>\n

\u201eProblema este c\u0103 ceilal\u021bi tind s\u0103 renun\u021be prea repede\u201d, spune Quilliam. \u201eSolu\u021bia este s\u0103 preiei controlul \u0219i s\u0103 le transmi\u021bi celorlal\u021bi c\u0103 persoana respectiv\u0103 nu va monopoliza discu\u021bia.\u201d<\/p>\n

Psihologul recomand\u0103 \u201estabilirea unui model\u201d pentru restul grupului.<\/p>\n

\u201eDup\u0103 patru sau cinci fraze, \u00eentrerupe politicos cu o idee proprie\u201d, explic\u0103 ea. De exemplu: \u201eInteresant, noi ne-am rezervat vacan\u021ba \u00een Fran\u021ba vara aceasta\u201d sau \u201eAi auzit c\u0103 veri\u0219oara ta a dat exament pentru carnetul de conducere?\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201eAstfel, ceilal\u021bi vor \u00een\u021belege c\u0103 este \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 intervin\u0103, iar \u0219ansele ca o singur\u0103 persoan\u0103 s\u0103 domine conversa\u021bia scad\u201d, spune Quilliam.<\/p>\n

Invita\u021bii sunt dezordona\u021bi sau neaten\u021bi<\/h2>\n

\u201eMulte sup\u0103r\u0103ri de Cr\u0103ciun pot fi rezolvate prin negociere \u0219i compromis, calit\u0103\u021bi esen\u021biale atunci c\u00e2nd \u00eempar\u021bi spa\u021bii restr\u00e2nse cu rudele\u201d, spune Quilliam.<\/p>\n

\u201eIdeal ar fi s\u0103 stabile\u0219ti ni\u0219te reguli \u0219i limite din timp sau imediat ce oamenii ajung\u201d, explic\u0103 ea. De exemplu: \u201e\u021ainem bocancii l\u00e2ng\u0103 u\u0219a din spate\u201d sau \u201eAici recicl\u0103m h\u00e2rtia\u201d.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 nu, sugereaz\u0103 s\u0103 faci o glum\u0103: \u201eA\u0219a facem noi Cr\u0103ciunul, iar cine nu este de acord va trebui s\u0103 plece.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nu ai nimic \u00een comun cu ceilal\u021bi<\/h2>\n

Dac\u0103 anul acesta vi se al\u0103tur\u0103 cuscrii \u0219i te temi c\u0103 nu ve\u021bi avea subiecte comune, Quilliam recomand\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103 \u00eei cuno\u0219ti, \u00een loc s\u0103 adop\u021bi o atitudine defensiv\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u201eImplic\u0103-te \u00een conversa\u021bie cu aceste persoane noi, \u00een loc s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi marchezi teritoriul sau s\u0103 te retragi\u201d, spune ea.<\/p>\n

De exemplu, \u00een loc s\u0103 spui \u201eA\u0219a facem noi Cr\u0103ciunul\u201d, \u00eentreab\u0103: \u201eCum face\u021bi voi Cr\u0103ciunul?\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201ePu\u021bini oameni st\u00e2njeni\u021bi pot rezista tenta\u021biei de a vorbi despre ei \u00een\u0219i\u0219i\u201d, explic\u0103 Quilliam. \u201ePune \u00eentreb\u0103ri deschise, precum \u00abSpune-mi ce pl\u0103nui\u021bi de Anul Nou\u00bb.\u201d<\/p>\n

Invita\u021bii dominatori te fac s\u0103 te sim\u021bi inutil<\/h2>\n

Exist\u0103 mereu cineva care crede c\u0103 \u0219tie s\u0103 fac\u0103 totul mai bine, de la cartofii crocan\u021bi la aranjarea ma\u0219inii de sp\u0103lat vase. De\u0219i poate fi iritant, Quilliam recomand\u0103 s\u0103 dezamorsezi situa\u021bia cu bun\u0103tate.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201ePo\u021bi spune ceva de genul: \u00abAi fost at\u00e2t de ajutor, dar te rog s\u0103 te a\u0219ezi \u0219i s\u0103 bei ceva\u00bb\u201d, sugereaz\u0103 ea. Sau po\u021bi \u201eintra \u00een rezisten\u021b\u0103\u201d.<\/p>\n

Marian spune c\u0103, \u00een fiecare an, nora ei se agit\u0103 prin buc\u0103t\u0103ria ei mic\u0103, f\u0103c\u00e2nd-o s\u0103 se simt\u0103 inutil\u0103 \u00een propria cas\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u201eAnul trecut am avut o revela\u021bie\u201d, spune Marian. \u201eAm decis pur \u0219i simplu s\u0103 cedez. \u00abBine, preia tu\u00bb, i-am spus. Apoi m-am a\u0219ezat \u0219i mi-am turnat un pahar de \u0219ampanie.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00cen jurul momentului \u00een care apare a doua mahmureal\u0103, apar \u0219i certurile. Poate c\u00e2inele trebuie neap\u0103rat scos la plimbare, dar afar\u0103 plou\u0103, sau tava de la curcan \u00eenc\u0103 trebuie sp\u0103lat\u0103, … Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":667684,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"Default","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/667683"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=667683"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/667683\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/667684"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=667683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=667683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/microscopemedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=667683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}